Love. It’s something we have all felt – from the moment we clasped our mother’s finger with our tiny hand, thinking we held the whole world in our palm, to the warm embrace of our partner, promising us a safety net as innocuous as their arms cocooning us.
Love can be delicate, powerful, irresistible even, but it can also feel toxic.
But the toxicity isn’t always a direct product of love itself, but a result of our inner world being exposed to us through the sharp lenses of our relationship. Love can reopen wounds long healed or, at least, tear off the bandages that were hiding them.
Love provides us with a free ticket into the gallery of our burrowed feelings – each painting exhibiting either our insecurities, longings, fears or a jumble of them all.
The cracks within us, plastered long ago must again be exposed. We must be vulnerable by acknowledging and experiencing all of our emotions, to allow love to seep through our many crevices.
The irony of it is, that without those cracks we can not let love in. Without full-heartedly experiencing all of the pain, happiness, sadness, excitement, and frustration by waking all of our various emotions from hibernation, we can not bathe in the tender pools of love. It’s all or nothing.
Being alone, we often shelter the lava brewing inside of us, suppressing any tiny rumble that may occur. We learn to live unhindered by emotional disturbances by becoming apathetic. We walk on shards of glass expressing no physical signs of pain and yet we are left with bleeding feet and damage that will eventually need to be repaired.
We are left to face our wounds, and sometimes, inadvertently project them on to the one that means the most to us.
Love isn’t an antidote to your internal grievances, it isn’t a black hole that will magically engulf your problems – maybe initially, but with time that black hole will only regorge what had disappeared before, leaving you to sort through the debris.
Love is therapy. Love is making sense of the many puzzle pieces scattered within yourself and the ones hidden away.
Love is work, but it’s worth it.
Love is great.