Blooming

For months on end, I’ve been a closed flower
Barricading myself from the outside world
I shut out the anguish and the painful memories
I locked my heart inside of a steel case
And I thought that I had healed by layering bubble wrap around my vulnerable skin
But with the absence of pain, came the absence of any feeling at all
And with time, the numbness became louder, until I couldn’t hear my purpose anymore

 
I was defined by paralysis
I saw my life as a screening, in which I was the audience, watching with the volume off
Sensations passed by unnoticed, and potential was unfulfilled
Opportunities slid past as if they had no surface to grip on to
And happiness was distracted, still
But there came a day when I noticed that I wasn’t noticing

 
My body was on auto-pilot, and there was no “off” button
And the days had raced by with no excitement to define them
So I decided to bloom
And slowly, my feelings came back too
I was no longer guarded, but I was alive
And as a flowering flower, my beauty thrived